Mouthy M (Or, Drawn This Way)

Is This Desire? (Or Electron Toot)

Pardon my tootage....

"Sometimes (Is This Desire?)" (top) and "Please (Is This Desire?)" (bottom) will be on view in the Electron Salon at the Los Angeles Center for Digital Art today through February 3.

See more at smith80.com.

Drawing Board (Or, Over the Shoulder)

Ladies' Mile Disaster (Or, You're Not Seriously Wearing That)

I overheard this exchange between a young man and a young woman a few weeks ago on Sixth Avenue. The man was neatly dressed. The woman...well...let's just say she was so tricked out in alt-trends that it looked like all of hipster Brooklyn just barfed all over her.

NEAT MAN: OK. Well. Wow. That's not at all what I thought you'd be wearing today.

MADEMOISELLE TRENDITA: Is something wrong with my outfit?

NEAT MAN scans her up and down, clicks his tongue against his teeth.

NEAT MAN: It's interesting. What you're wearing is interesting.

MADEMOISELLE TRENDITA: Totally. That's what I was going for.

NEAT MAN: Listen. Why don't I give you fifty bucks to go buy something nice? You can change.

TRENDITA: What?

NEAT MAN: Omigod. Was that so rude of me or what? I guess it was rude. Did you think that was rude of me to ask?

TRENDITA: Uh...

NEAT MAN: Listen, let's just go to like the Gap or something and you can get a nice dress. Let's face it. What you're wearing is a nightmare and I can't have it. I just can't believe that's what you'd wear today...

Unfortunately, they turned off after that. I never knew if Mme. Trendita (his date? his hired beard? his employee? his hooker?) gave in to his stylistic whims or if she jammed her ankle-bootied foot in his ass and got her Bushwick ladyballs out of there.

Things You Can Tell Just By Listening to Her (Or, Rhea)

I overheard this last week. To make matters worse (or, uh, better I guess), the indiscreet woman was coming out of my neighborhood's community health center.

INDISCREET WOMAN ON CELLPHONE: Omigod. Guess what? I think I totally gave you guys rhea. Yeah. I just saw the doctor. I know. I'm sooooooooooooooooooo sorry! Call me later!

Of course, only she and "you guys" know if the rhea in question was diarrhea, gonorrhea, or Rhea Perlman.

111111 (Or, Make a Wish)

Make a wish.

Draw Straws (Or, No Reason)