Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Body by Mom

Quite a few years ago, my friend Max and I were hanging out at his apartment. Max had a roommate then, and the roommate was also there, hanging out with us. We were drinking quite a lot of wine and somehow the conversation turned to the subject of Max's roommate's mother. Max's roommate got very excited when the topic of her profession came up. He raced to his bedroom to find some pictures of her. As Max's roommate tore through his room to find these pictures, Max and I were completely perplexed as to why we had to see photographs of her in order to find out or discuss what she did for a living. The roommate finally returned with pictures of a very tan, very musclely person with a toxic blonde bouffant hairdo in an aqua bikini flexing her guns in front of a huge trophy.

The roommate's mother was a professional body builder.

Max looked at the picture for at least a minute, then looked at me with a shit-eating grin. He then turned to his roommate and asked: "How come you never told me your mama was a man?"

Due to the amount of cheap red wine that Max and I had consumed that afternoon, quite naturally, a song emerged, a tribute to Max's roommate's mother. To be sung to the chorus of Tiffany's late-80s classic, "I Think We're Alone Now", here is, in part, the semi-original ditty, "My Mama's A Drag Queen":

Running just as fast as we can
Holdin’ on to my drag queen mama's hand
Tryin’ to get away into the night
And then you put your big man arms around me
And we tumble to the ground
And then you say:
My mama's a drag queen
There doesn’t seem to be any dick around
My mama's a drag queen
The sequins on her gown make the only sound

1 comment:

Gusty Winds said...

Hi Doll,

Love the site. I wanted to let you and your readers know of a new Drag Queen site, http://www.myfavoritedragqueen.com.

It's loaded with pics of drag queens from all over the world. We'd love to have a photo of you at the site as well.

Oh yeah, membership is free, and you can contribute to the site in a number of fun and exciting ways.

I look forward to seeing you at the site,
Gusty Winds
My Favorite Drag Queen