Thursday, February 24, 2005

Fagstrology

Myself being overly obsessed with reading my daily horoscope online, I have learned far too much about how the sweet stars in heaven above dictate interpersonal behavior and personality. So, for no good reason: a short semi-astrological guide to the mens of the queer persuasion:

ARIES: Loud Slut
TAURUS: Slow Slut
GEMINI: Chatty Slut
CANCER: Crybaby Slut
LEO: Proud Slut
VIRGO: Clean Slut
LIBRA: Two-Faced Slut
SCORPIO: Secretive Slut
SAGITTARIUS: Easy Slut
CAPRICORN: Cheap Slut
AQUARIUS: Ditzy Slut
PISCES: Indecisive Slut

Just trying to save y'all some time. It's really as simple as this:

Loud Sluts are a lot like Easy Sluts and Proud Sluts.

Slow Sluts like to bide their time with Clean Sluts and Cheap Sluts.

Chatty Sluts truly dig Two-Faced Sluts and Ditzy Sluts. Makes talking so much a lot easier.

Crybaby Sluts usually get Secretive and Indecisive Sluts' shoulders to weep upon.

And to complete the logic:

The Loud, the Easy and the Proud tend to choose the Chatty, the Two-Faced and the Ditzy to hang with, while the Slow, the Clean and the Cheap tend to gravitate to Crybabies, Secret Agents and the alluring Flip-Flopper, Hip-Hoppers.

(For those interested, I'm an Easy Slut that's Slow Rising. The placement of the moon in my birth chart also makes me a Crybaby; Venus and Mars make me Cheap and Indecisive.)

1 comment:

jon said...

leo daily horoscope info is so cheesy but we were looking at it anyway...why i dont know. I guess it is fun to play around online. Anyway, I saw your leo daily horoscope posts and though it was cool...Alright, well...have a great night, I am back to leo daily horoscope surfing LOL : )

Jon