Thursday, February 10, 2005

Snatch It Up

I was walking one Saturday afternoon down Newbury Street in Boston with my friend Lucas. Lucas and I were giddy as schoolgirls for some reason or other that day. We passed a group of young, faux-punk (mostly likely entirely upper-middle class) kids who were panhandling. As we walked in front of where the group was sitting, the alpha-female of the group screeched at Lucas:

"HEY. Gimme your change."

Given my friend Lucas' nature, he wasn't about to just ignore these rich kids acting out, pretending to be on the skids. Lucas reached in his pocket and pulled out a subway token.

"Sorry, lady." Lucas replied. "All I have is a T token."

This only gave the surly young punkette good reason to get surlier.

"OK, " she barked. "I'll take that."

"No." Lucas said through a burgeoning wave of shits and giggles.

As the encounter seemingly came to an end, the punkette mouthed the word "fags" and gave us the middle finger.

"Lucas, that girl just flipped you the bird, " I said. The next thing I knew, Lucas is standing, arms akimbo, in front of the pack of punks, ready to school them in good manners.

"Hey, bitch. Did you just flip me off??" Lucas snapped.

"Sure did," their ample leader said.

"Oh, yeah?" At this point, Lucas turned to the punks, bent half-way over and grabbed his ass cheeks with both hands.

"Well, you can bite my ass you little snatch!"

The entire crowd of panhandlers then burst into a chaotic fit of laughter. As we continued our walk past them, Lucas waved to them and yelled out: "Hey, have a great day!"

As the punks, still laughing, waved back to Lucas, he turned to me and said: "See how easy it is to make new friends?"

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