Thursday, March 10, 2005

Don't Tell Me Not To...

You know you're extremely homosexual when...after falling asleep watching "Midnight Cowboy" on Turner Movie Classics, you wake up with the television trumpeting the opening credits of "Funny Girl".

You know you're extremely homosexual and desperately in need of help when...after waking up to "Funny Girl", you are completely intoxicated and glued to the T.V. knowing that you won't be able to get out of bed or brush your teeth or eat something or make coffee or change your underwear or masturbate or leave the house or get to work until a certain scene involving a train station, a speeding locomotive, a big fur hat, the Manhattan skyline, a tugboat and one of the gayest declarations of self-actualization ever filmed slams, bangs and blares its way across the screen.

Thank Christ there's an intermission just after that.

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