Calling all fags: my mother Linda (also known as Linda Marie) is coming to visit me at the end of May.
A 57 year old frustrated first-class fag hag, my mother is ready to take on Gay New York.
She's not interested in sight-seeing. However, she is interested in seeing: gay bars, restaurants, male strippers and anywhere a scene from "Sex and the City" was filmed.
Be warned: after a long stint as a speech pathologist in a junior high school, she has been known to talk like a truck driver.
When referring to a (granted, maybe somewhat floozyish) girl my younger brother was dating, Linda said to me, in private, with a Carleton Light Menthol 100 dangling from her lips:
"That girl looked like she could suck the chrome off a bumper."