Friday, March 11, 2005

Not My First Time at the Rodeo

You know you're an extremely gay ten-year old child forego T-Ball, basketball, baseball, softball, soccer, football, lacrosse, rugby, wrestling (mmmm...wrestling), swimming, diving, ice hockey, field hockey, cheerleading, cross country, track and field, tennis, badminton, flag-twirling, baton-twirling, jazz and tap dancing, macrame, needlepoint, pottery and all other full-contact sports in order to stay inside to watch "Mommie Dearest" for the 27th time on HBO so you can recite your favorite lines, bone up on old Hollywood glamour and learn the arch skills of high dramatic bitchery from the inside out.

You know you're an extremely gay 33 year old adult man forego a night out because "Mommie Dearest" pops up on HBO in order to relive the magic and ponder how the hell anyone ever thought you might have been heterosexual.

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