Monday, April 30, 2007

Excuses Are Like Elbows (Or, Clearly Taking My Time)


An art teacher of mine used to always say: "Excuses are like elbows - most people usually have at least two."

So, here I am with yet another excuse as to why I'm still not caught up on the Amsterdam stories, why I haven't organized my photos yet, and all that. Well, I got sidetracked over the weekend and felt the need to relive a certain aspect of my Amsterdam trip (hint: inhale, hold, exhale) and avoid all self-defined duty.

I guess I've used up my two elbows...so I'll get back to it...tomorrow.

In the meantime, here's a comment I left on someone else's blog. I know it's sort of cheating...but I'm pooped (see below). The topic of the original blog entry was singer Sheryl Crow's newfound interest in the environment...and her committment to, well, being conservative when it comes to how she manages her post-dump clumps:

Sheryl writes on her tour blog: "I propose a limitation to be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. I think we are industrious enough people to make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required"

I took offense to this for some reason and replied:

shit.

at first, I thought she was talking about shittin, crappin, pinchin a loaf.

I was all: "oh, hells no flaka bitch. just 'cause you eat a soy bean or two every month and prolly bust a little teeny tiny rabbit turd out yo ass every six weeks don't mean you can tell me how much TP I can use, OK."

When you eat like a mofo, you shit like a mofo. Thank God I gots a new Japanese toilet seat to hose and bidet my backside like I was fancypants Jacqueline Bisset on a cruise. Ain't no Sheryl gon pop out my muthafuckin toilet tank and give me a hard time.


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