Monday, May 21, 2007

Fascinating Rhythm (Or, Memories...)


My friend Jessica and I saw the always entertaining Kiki and Herb last night at Joe's Pub.

In a joke that's been dying, aching, suffering, yearning to be made: they titled their new show The Year of Magical Drinking after Joan Didion's harrowing saga of loss - The Year of Magical Thinking.

I won't go into the details of the show...but there was a joke that was made during the encore that I need to repeat.

Yes, need to repeat.

Sitting just behind us were two loud obnoxious queens who talked - full voice - through big chunks of the show. During the encore, one of them was loudly discussing how he was going to ask Kiki a question.

"I'm just going to yell it out to Kiki. I have to!"

After a song, there was a tiny pause in a monologue. I bristled. I knew the loud, drunk, dumb-as-fuck queen was going to seize his moment.

"KIKI! KIKI!" He wailed.

Kiki lurched our direction looking for the heckler.

"Yes?"

"KIKI! When I saw you perform in Philadelphia, you told a story about how one of your friends knows Hugh Grant...it was a funny story. Really funny! Can you tell us about your friend that knows Hugh Grant??"

Kiki paused. Her eyes squinted and she took a step backward.

There was a big, juicy, bitchy mental wind-up in progress.

Kiki replied:

"How...fascinating."

The crowd, clearly as hostile as I was toward the loud-mouth, roared with laughter.

After a moment, she continued:

"You know, I don't know what the hell I'm saying up here half the time. I really don't. I rely on people such as yourself to remember what I do say. I don't know anything about this Hugh Grant person...or this story I supposedly told about him...but I am glad that you remembered."

Another beat.

"You see, it's not my job to remember anything...I just have to be memorable."

2 comments:

ENQUIRING MIND said...

WHAT DID THE THEN SHUT DOWN QUEEN TO YOUR REAR HAVE TO SAY THEN?????

TM said...

Zilch.

Thankfully.