Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I Forgot My Mantra (Or, Notes on a Tuesday)


Some people quote the Bible.

Some people quote Buddha.

Some people quote Oprah.

If I could only have one source of inspiration - one Higher Power to tap for wisdom and insight and all that to quote - it would be...

Fran Lebowitz.

Also known as one of New York's sharpest wits.

I'd say "...America's sharpest wits", but I don't think Ms. Lebowitz would like that. Her book jacket bio usually says something terse like: Fran Lebowitz is a writer. She lives in New York. She shouldn't be allowed to live anywhere else.

Whenever the subject of gay marriage comes up in conversation, I whip out this quote of hers:

"It used to be that homosexuals were the most interesting people. Now, they're borderline boring: all they want to do is join the army and get married."

Kind of sums it all up for me, really.

Here are a few other quotes of hers that I chant to myself in the throes of deep meditation - when my own sarcasm is on the fritz:

"All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable."

"Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying."

"Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add."

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet."

"Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep."

"My favorite animal is steak."

And...a personal favorite:

"When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough. "

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