Saturday, May 19, 2007
Meatless Wonder (Or, Is That Processed?)
This afternoon at the grocery store, the contents of my basket (no, not that one) kind of alarmed me:
I'm becoming a lesbian.
I bought soy milk, lots of fiber-rich, bowel-churning whole grain products, and enough hummus to feed the Israeli army. Granted, I am having a lesbian houseguest this weekend, but I realized that nothing I was buying was really out the ordinary in terms of my recent food buying patterns. Waiting in line with my package of "meatless" buffalo wings, I got to thinking about a time when I sort-of-not-really-by-accident verbally bodyslammed a female vegetarian/vegan/cruelty-free-eater.
No, she wasn't a lesbian.
I was out to dinner with a large group of co-workers and my vegan/vegetwhatever friend/co-worker was sitting next to our boss. Our boss ordered a bacon cheeseburger. When the burger arrived, mister bossman turned to miss vegan and said:
"Oh, I'm sorry. Am I offending you by eating this so close to you?"
Before anyone had a chance to respond - I belted out:
"Don't worry. Despite being a vegetarian, she gets plenty of meat in her mouth."
Did I mention the vegan was a slut?