Thursday, May 10, 2007

Slap, Slap, Slap It Up (Or, Mourning Becomes A Bitchslap)

Now, I'm always fond of a good bitchslap.

This afternoon, after a funny email exchange between two old friends of mine, I found myself in dire need of the services of a certain website. Sadly, when I went to find the site in question, it was gone and one of those lonely and pathetic "this site has been reserved..." blah-blah-blah good-for-nothing pages was loitering there instead.

Once upon a time, there was a site - a magical place, really - called bitchslapped.com.

It really only served one purpose - you could email someone - anonymously or otherwise - a link to a fake "Someone sent you a great card!" type of website. Once you clicked through to the site, a nasty looking, 3-D rendered blonde woman marched out on screen, wound up, and gave a righteous smackdown to the screen while a booming voice wailed: "OOOOOOOOOOH! You're bitchslapped!".

When I first found it, I was so happy.

I bitchslapped everyone I knew.

I bitchslapped anyone I could think of.

I bitchslapped my often beleaguered colleague 5 times in a row.

I bitchslapped people I hardly knew.

I bitchslapped my mother.

And here I sit today - aching to bitchslap - and I just can't do it.

Oh, the failures of modern technology.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I was fortunate enough to be able to send a bitchslap from that website to someone who REALLY deserved it. The only downside...you couldn't actually see their face when they opened the email! Priceless.