Tuesday, August 28, 2007

You Are Now Swappin' With The Best (Or, Yes, I Am Blind)

In addition to not writing anything during the month of August, I've also realized that I have barely watched television this month either. There have been no marathons of British reality shows to keep me occupied...or even any decently steamy, soft-core Cinemax movies to keep me up at night clutching my dirty pillows. What I did rekindle...was a love of the best/worst show on network television...

Wife Swap.

If you doubt its brilliance...check this out.

Or...this...which could be the show's masterpiece moment.

In three episodes, I was one junked up junkie. Above and below are stills from two of the three episodes that snared me. (Alas, I have no imagery from an episode that detailed a family of Pirates vs. a family of OCD Organziers. I must have been so overwhelmed by the term "Piratitude" and various yo-ho-ho-isms and "arrrrrrr!"s that I couldn't get my camera phone to the TV in time.)

Above is a girl named "Journey" - the beautiful, be-boa-ed child of a woman who legally changed her name to D'Eva (since she's, um, a diva). D'Eva and her husband are teaching their children the fine art of cosmetology...below is D'Eva in full effect - telling the family she was swapped to something about somethin' somethin':

And here is another featured swapper who - in her mid 30s - is trying to break into modeling:

And no, that's not trick photography - one of her eyes is so lazy, it's completely unemployed.

She's giving Sandy Duncan a run for her money with that eye.

I hate to be mean in such a fashion, but my own glass eye has always prevented me from the field of high-fashion modeling. I deeply resent her ambition and courage.

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