Twice this week I've encountered the Eurthymics video for "Missionary Man" online. It's a great song, but it always makes me think of one of the best put-downs I've ever had the pleasure to witness.
In college, I was sitting at a table full of friends at lunch. The group was a mix of gays and straights...as was the standard at my so-liberal-it-hurts college. Anyway, a straight male friend - who was prone to be loud and obnoxious - was teasing another straight guy about how much he wanted to give it to him up the ass. The two straight guys bantered back and forth until my friend (and then-boyfriend) Rob piped in:
"Don't you know [hetero dude doing the teasing] loves anal sex with men?"
To which the obnoxious, hetero dude replied...
"No fucking way, man. I love pussy. Love it, love it, love it. I can't get enough of it."
"Really?" Rob asked. "From what I've heard, you're awfully unimaginative with it."
"What the fuck's that mean?"
"We might as well call you The Missionary Man."
In the game of word volley that's what I like to call...perfect set...perfect spike.