Sunday, September 30, 2007

Pass The Mission (Or, You Can Fool With A Straight Guy)

Twice this week I've encountered the Eurthymics video for "Missionary Man" online. It's a great song, but it always makes me think of one of the best put-downs I've ever had the pleasure to witness.

In college, I was sitting at a table full of friends at lunch. The group was a mix of gays and straights...as was the standard at my so-liberal-it-hurts college. Anyway, a straight male friend - who was prone to be loud and obnoxious - was teasing another straight guy about how much he wanted to give it to him up the ass. The two straight guys bantered back and forth until my friend (and then-boyfriend) Rob piped in:

"Don't you know [hetero dude doing the teasing] loves anal sex with men?"

To which the obnoxious, hetero dude replied...

"No fucking way, man. I love pussy. Love it, love it, love it. I can't get enough of it."

"Really?" Rob asked. "From what I've heard, you're awfully unimaginative with it."

"What the fuck's that mean?"

"We might as well call you The Missionary Man."

In the game of word volley that's what I like to call...perfect set...perfect spike.

5 comments:

Ladron de Basura said...

My experience is that besides their evangelical zeal, missionaries usually smell bad.

JOE * to * HELL said...

i think he meant the position

all i know is that madonna played one in shanghai surprise.

see...it allllll comes back to her

T$ said...

yes indeed - the joke was about the position...not about the actual act of spreading the word of jebus and co.

m00nchild said...

Most of the straight men I've had sex with, don't like pussy that much at all.

Christopher said...

Snap, Snap, Snap...in a Z-formation!