As I write this, it's nearly closely exactly almost sort of close to something like or approximately a time on or around 3:00 PM on a Tuesday afternoon.
Now, I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking: "Bitch, get back to work and stop dicking around."
And you don't know I'm thinking: "Sweet Jebus, I have a to-do list that scares the shit out of me."
I know I should be working on other things right now...but I have a problem with 3:00 PM.
It's the start of that awful lag time in the afternoon that goes on and on and on and on and on. Even procrastinating takes too much time and harmless, delicious dicking around is like running through a vat of vaseline wearing a lead muumuu.
My loyal, fictional staff members LaDawna, Naomi, and Darcelle all want to take an hour off to get microdermabrasion.
And...if I were in a Mediterranean country, right now I'd be sleeping sleeping sleeping.
So under much duress by my staff, I've decided that it's time to institute a company wide, mandatory siesta.
Of course, no sooner than I'd said "siesta" during the announcement, all three ladies were out the door in flash to get their faces sanded and repaved at the Korean nail salon around the corner.