Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Short, Sharp, Shocked (Or, Hey Mister Shortstuff)


Recently, a notorious someone posted a piece about short men.

I'm short - always have been, always will be. I'm 5'7" - and never, ever cop to being anything more.

When someone says "hey shorty" I say - "That's right, bitch. That's me."

Anyway, a few years ago, I was dating a guy who was exactly my height.

I mean ex-act-ly.

I don't remember the context for this next snippet of conversation, but I do remember we were walking down a street in my neighborhood:

EX: You know, Tom Cruise is short like you.

ME: Um, don't you mean 'Tom Cruise is short like us'?

EX: God no. You're sooooo much shorter than I am.

ME: Really?

EX: You're what? 5'4"?

ME: 5'7".

EX: Same difference.

ME: And how tall would you say you were?

EX: 5'10".

At this point, I had to stop walking, since I was choking on a massive ham sandwich of disbelieving laughter.

ME: You can't be serious.

EX: What's so funny? I'm totally 5'10".

ME: You are not.

EX: Do you want to measure?

ME: No need - you know I can see the top of your head, right?

13 comments:

short lover said...

sounds like your ex interpreted the 6 inch discrepancy he saw between you two in terms of height, as opposed to a deficiency of inches in other ways. someone was compensating by deluding himself. glad you got rid of him!

Junk Thief said...

I'm 6'2" and wish I were 5'9". I'm glad for once to see that I'm not the notorious one posting his passion for men of a certain height (5'6" and below is getting to short for me, but I still wouldn't turn it away). However, I've tended to lie about being shorter than I really am.

T$ said...

have to say, being a short man in the gay world isn't at all detrimental.

however, I'm most thankful for my stature when I fly coach...

JOE * to * HELL said...

thanks for the linky link.

i like a man....as long as i aint stepping on him or barely reach his titties, i dont care.

Big Daddy said...

5' 6" and proud here!

T$ said...

rock on, big daddy. rock. on.

Sh@ney said...

Thats hilarious...Some people just need those few extra inches huh!

Shirley Heezgay said...

as a 5'7"-er, I thought that was totally hysterical.

"I can see the top of your head."

Classic!

JOE * to * HELL said...

Big daddy you are 5' 6"...t$ and shirley clock in at 5' 7". Damn. There more shorties than I thought. Good thing I posted that shit - u al would be driving cadillacs otherwise. I'm clockin in at a nice 5' 11", cut

T$ said...

joe...as for your last comment, that's a whole other entry altogether.

JOE * to * HELL said...

um, i meant cut as in haircut. i am 5-11 with a shave dhead. but if i grow my hair and tease it up real good, i'm well over 6'2".

ps - you working three different headers in one day! i like this one

kusala said...

Woof. You are SO my new bloghusband. I'm 5'7 or so too (who knew there were so MANY of us!) and I find there to be something hot about someone exactly my height or even a little shorter. However, I also get a certain zing from some guys who are *really* tall (like 6'3 or above). Not sure what that's about. Oh, and I've lied about my height.

Right on, shorty.

T$ said...

kusala - here's to being just the right height...