Monday, October 15, 2007

The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, And My Hunger (Or, Gravy)

I have a habit that's hard to break.

I'm a middle-of-the-night eater.

Sometimes, I wake up for a cracker.

Sometimes, I rise to grab a cookie.

Last night, I got up to get down with an entire burrito, chinese leftovers, and some chocolate truffles...

I think.

I honestly don't remember housing the burrito...or the sesame chicken for that matter. I only realized it this afternoon, when I went to the kitchen to scrounge up a fast and easy lunch, only to find I had nothing at all to eat.

In my defense, I'll quote Dolly Parton:

"I don't do anything halfway. I live hard. I love hard. Hell...I even eat hard."

So, I'm chalking up last night's love affair with my refrigerator to living...and eating...hard.

I also feel the need here - for some reason - to repeat a little poem I wrote a while ago:

Gravy is great
Gravy is groovy
When I ain't got meat,
I drink it like a smoothie

Luckily for me, I had no such gravy-for-a-smoothie on hand last night.

Although...if I had, I might have had that burrito for lunch.


Big Daddy said...

Are you on Ambien?

I used to sleep-eat and wake up in the morning with the kitchen in all disarray with no memory of it.

hello, my name is danny. said...

i'm all for working hard, playing hard and eating hard.

how can you enjoy life if you only live it half-assed?

i would rather die of a heart attack with a fat and juicy ribeye in my mouth than die malnourished choking on a rice cake, although i will eat a bag of those as long as they are cheedar cheese flavored.

T$ said...

BD - I've heard about that ambien sleep-eating thing...unfortunately, I'm not on it.

I'm just a hungry mofo.

HMNID - word.

Tarek said...

I love that. You are so brilliant.

Ladron de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

I did a post about gravy a couple of months back, and it netted the most comments ever on my blog. You can never go wrong with gravy.

m00nchild said...

I'm reading this at 2am while eating a plate full of sausage, apples, cheese, and toasted bagel slices, while sipping chai tea.

I think I know what you mean ...

jason said...

Dolly knows of what she speaks.

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