Sunday, October 21, 2007
A Taste Sensation Sweeping the Nation (Or, Assumption)
As I mentioned here before (see also: A Coq Tale), I used to work at a university that had a super luxe cafeteria. I had a great and silly set of work friends when I worked for the school, and we'd often tear it up (and tear each other up) at lunch.
Around Halloween one year, a student in the cafeteria dumped a huge salad in her lap while whelping out a slow motion "FUUUCCCCCCCCCK" that seemingly went on for minutes. Instead of being staid, compassionate, and, um, mature, it was all my friends and I could do to hold back a wave of giggles. As we tried in vain to contain our laughter, someone in my group muttered under his breath:
"Guess she just figured out her Halloween costume. Bitch is going to be a salad."
One member of the lunch posse was prone to overusing the phrase "tastes like ass" as in:
"This sandwich tastes like ass."
"This sushi tastes like ass."
"I'm so hungover...everything tastes like ass."
One day, I decided to have a little fun at my friend's expense. As she tore into her lunch...she belted out the usual:
"God, this tastes like ass."
And I replied...
"So, do you mean it tastes like bad-dirty ass or good-dirty-sexy ass? Because if it's the latter, pass it over sister."
From then on, she thought twice about ranking on the taste of ass.