Saturday, November 24, 2007

Jive Turkey (Or, It's My Turd)



Last night, my friend Torrey had a leftover/Thanksgiving rerun party.

At one point - well past bottle of wine #5 - we were playing ye olde dinner party game of: "Which three celebrities would you like to have dinner with?" and my friend Anne - a little inebriated - said:

"Wait - whose turd is it next?"

At the very least, that's what everyone thought she said.

Not letting Thanksgiving stop me from my usual smartassery, I launched into a version of Miss Diana Ross's song "It's My Turn" reimagined as...

You guessed it...

"It's My Turd"

It's my turd...
I thought I had to pee
I hope you have T.P.
This time's just for me

Because it's my turd
With no apologies
It might be a bit uncouth
So please let me Febreze

Because it's my turd
I stand and say goodbye
I sure would like to flush
And let that BM slide...

Yes, what would a holiday be without a little ditty about shit.

Up next: Joni Mitchell's "River" reimagined as "Turdie":

I wish I had a turdie so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a turdie
I could skate away on


1 comment:

jason said...

beautiful.