Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Unexpected Expectations (Or, Shampoo)

I have a knack (some would say an entirely immature knack) for finding comedy in unexpected places.

Most of the time, I find some unexpected ditties in highly serious films.

Take for instance the Academy Award winning movie Monster.

At one point, the main character - prostitute/serial killer Aileen Wuornos as played by Charlize Theron - has an agitated conversation with a potential john/victim.

When the john in question questions the value of Aileen's, um, services, she says:

"That's the kind of money I deserve. I ain't no shampoo girl, alright? I'm the real deal."

That line got me to giggling and giggling.

I got to giggling so much about this line that I couldn't let it go...so I sort-of turned it into a catch phrase (that, naturally, only I use). For months and months after I saw the film, I found myself using that line all the time.

For instance:

"Hey T$, do you want another drink?"

"Hells yeah, bitch. I ain't no shampoo girl, alright? I'm the real deal."

As always, I encourage you to use this line at your leisure/discretion. Since the holidays are now upon us, feel free to sprinkle it liberally at family gatherings:

"Oh, my darling Grandson, can you please pass the Christmas Pudding?"

"Back off, lady. I ain't no shampoo girl, alright? I'm the real deal."

It clearly works for all occasions.

4 comments:

Ladron de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

This puts those 2004 comments by the Bush team about John Edwards being a "Breck girl" into perspective. I bet Aileen voted for Bush. He ain't no shampoo girl...

Big Daddy said...

You and I totally need to hang out.

Ha.

My favorite line to confuse people is 'so this one time, I hooked up with a Colombian drug lord, at a cock fight....'

T$ said...

"...and next thing I know, I'm tied to a radiator and the drug lord starts to unscrew his wooden leg..."

bring on the (jerri) blank!

SYNRGY said...

giggle...