Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Unexpected Expectations (Or, Shampoo)

I have a knack (some would say an entirely immature knack) for finding comedy in unexpected places.

Most of the time, I find some unexpected ditties in highly serious films.

Take for instance the Academy Award winning movie Monster.

At one point, the main character - prostitute/serial killer Aileen Wuornos as played by Charlize Theron - has an agitated conversation with a potential john/victim.

When the john in question questions the value of Aileen's, um, services, she says:

"That's the kind of money I deserve. I ain't no shampoo girl, alright? I'm the real deal."

That line got me to giggling and giggling.

I got to giggling so much about this line that I couldn't let it go...so I sort-of turned it into a catch phrase (that, naturally, only I use). For months and months after I saw the film, I found myself using that line all the time.

For instance:

"Hey T$, do you want another drink?"

"Hells yeah, bitch. I ain't no shampoo girl, alright? I'm the real deal."

As always, I encourage you to use this line at your leisure/discretion. Since the holidays are now upon us, feel free to sprinkle it liberally at family gatherings:

"Oh, my darling Grandson, can you please pass the Christmas Pudding?"

"Back off, lady. I ain't no shampoo girl, alright? I'm the real deal."

It clearly works for all occasions.


Ladron de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

This puts those 2004 comments by the Bush team about John Edwards being a "Breck girl" into perspective. I bet Aileen voted for Bush. He ain't no shampoo girl...

Big Daddy said...

You and I totally need to hang out.


My favorite line to confuse people is 'so this one time, I hooked up with a Colombian drug lord, at a cock fight....'

T$ said...

"...and next thing I know, I'm tied to a radiator and the drug lord starts to unscrew his wooden leg..."

bring on the (jerri) blank!

SYNRGY said...