Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Dust in the Wind (Or, Riding the Bus With My Make-Up Artist)

In my early twenties, I lived in Boston. Whenever I would visit New York, I would take the Peter Pan bus (hey, it was cheap...and, despite what people say about her glass eye, Sandy Duncan is an amazing bus driver).

Anyway, I once took the absolute last bus from Boston to New left Boston around midnight and got to Manhattan at some ungodly hour. I'd never taken this last bus (which was the first and last time I was to make the late-ish night trek), and it was naturally full of characters.

In less polite terms: it was full of drunks.

The Peter Pan busline certainly knew this about the last bus from Boston...since the bus they assigned to make this late night run was ancient, stinky, and dustier than Kansas in the 1930s.

I sat somewhere toward the middle of the bus. A woman with a huge make-up case (it was the mid 1990s, so I'm sure it was a Kaboodle) sat in the row in front of me. Just above the woman's head was one of the bus's television monitors...covered in grime.

Without missing a beat, the woman opened up her Kaboodle, took out a giant blush brush, and proceeded to dust the filth off of the T.V.

She then tapped the blush brush, tucked it back into her Kaboodle, and blurted out:

"Feerrrr Chrisssss's fuccccckin' fillllllthyyy in here."

I could only think how fucking filthy her face would be the next day when she sobered up and needed to freshen her blush.


joe*to*hell said...
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joe*to*hell said...

are you sure that wasn't rosie o'donnell in that TV movie?

do they still make kaboodles? i prefer a tackle box myself.