Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Mission: Impossible (Or, Krautastic Tuesday)


In thinking about this week's Krautastic Tuesday, I had worked up this fantastic theory about how every decade produces a great female German sex symbol (or, if you'd like, Sexbombe) - a blonde liebchen who's titular, icy, and emotionally unavailable.

Today, in trying to grid this fucker out...I could only come up with three women that fit my (now clearly) cockamamie thesis.

I hit the Berlin Wall, if you will.

I wrote up a map of the three blondes that did work (Marlene Dietrich, Claudia Schiffer, Heidi Klum), hoping that somehow other sexy ladykrauts would materialize in dirndls and braids, carrying steins of beer and trays of hot wursts for me to suck on.

But...I had to delete what I wrote.

My Mission: Impossible statement sounded like a jackass voiceover for Access Hollywood reworked for German public television read by David Hasselhoff.

I also tried to work in some of Fassbinder's muses from the 1970s (Hannah Schygulla and Barbara Sukowa)...but that didn't work either.

All of this hot air (or, less than hot air), led me to next week's topic...so at the very least, I have something better (and, yes, hotter) in store.

In the meantime, here's something to hold you over - a preview of krautastic things to come.

7 comments:

joe*to*hell said...

there is diane kruger. she's a beaut. and she got to ride eric bana in one of those romanesque epics - troy or alexander or gladiator or something.

what about ute lemper? not cute?
eva braun?

seems like next week is gonna be a schnitzel kinda tuesday

R. said...

I don't know about "sex symbol" (though I do think she's cute), but Franka Potente running through Berlin with bright red hair was very late-90s iconic.

T$ said...

JTH - diane kruger is fine...hate to burst your eric bana fantasy...but she was riding the less-than-sexy orlando bloom in troy.

as for ute and franka - I wish they had shown up with beer and wursts during my dirndl fantasy.

hello, my name is danny. said...

you were planning of sharing that plate of 'wursts, right?

Big Daddy said...

Who's the hunk?

Hubba hubba.

thonnibg said...

The hunk is Til Schweiger.He`s one of my favourite German actors.

joe said...

Til Schweiger is hunky, but he really looked like Scheiße in that dumbass King Arthur flick with Keira & Clive (don't ask why I saw it... even Clive couldn't redeem that crapola).