Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Mission: Impossible (Or, Krautastic Tuesday)
In thinking about this week's Krautastic Tuesday, I had worked up this fantastic theory about how every decade produces a great female German sex symbol (or, if you'd like, Sexbombe) - a blonde liebchen who's titular, icy, and emotionally unavailable.
Today, in trying to grid this fucker out...I could only come up with three women that fit my (now clearly) cockamamie thesis.
I hit the Berlin Wall, if you will.
I wrote up a map of the three blondes that did work (Marlene Dietrich, Claudia Schiffer, Heidi Klum), hoping that somehow other sexy ladykrauts would materialize in dirndls and braids, carrying steins of beer and trays of hot wursts for me to suck on.
But...I had to delete what I wrote.
My Mission: Impossible statement sounded like a jackass voiceover for Access Hollywood reworked for German public television read by David Hasselhoff.
I also tried to work in some of Fassbinder's muses from the 1970s (Hannah Schygulla and Barbara Sukowa)...but that didn't work either.
All of this hot air (or, less than hot air), led me to next week's topic...so at the very least, I have something better (and, yes, hotter) in store.
In the meantime, here's something to hold you over - a preview of krautastic things to come.