Overheard on a long walk today:
WOMAN WALKING LONG-HAIRED DACHSHUND: I am motherfuckin' sick sick sick of walkin this hairy hotdog.
POSSIBLY UNATTRACTIVE MAN: I mean...what's the point of having sex with unattractive people? I mean really?
MAN TALKING ON CELLPHONE: Yeah, man. I was all 'Oh baby I'm going to make sweet love to you and make you a smoothie' and it worked! I totally nailed her.
MAN TALKING ON CELLPHONE (Much Later in Conversation): Yeah, man. Next time I hit the strip club, I'm definitely bringing change....no, I mean coins. Totally dude...it will be awesome. It's like...where the fuck are they going to put quarters?
BRITISH WOMAN AT DOGRUN (Just after laying out a wee-wee pad on the concrete for her dog): Christ, I hate dogs.
The last woman I mentally nicknamed "Miss Common Twatflaps". Besides being a total cooz with the wee-wee pads outside...she shoved my dog.