Overheard yesterday at the local dog run:
WOMAN ON CELL PHONE SANS SHAME AND NEED FOR PRIVACY: ...I'm totally so hungover. Yeah. I'm just walking the dog now. Last night was insaaane. Totally. ...I figure later on I'll just go to the bar at the Chelsea Hotel - you know, the place where that Sid Vicious thing happened. I live, like, a block away from there. It's so cool. Anyway, I'll just go there and chat some guy up and have him get me high. What? Oh, yeah, I do that shit all the time...it's cool.
(ten endless minutes of chit-chat later...)
Oh God...I got this amazing crocheted bikini and I was at the Jersey shore and they had one of those photo booths. I took all these pictures. I'll totally scan them and send you them - I look so fucking hot!
I tried and tried to get away from her side of this endless cell phone conversation. I moved three times, which only seemed to amplify her voice. When I finally left the park, I thought I'd be free of the crocheted stoned bikini talk...but, alas, no. She left two seconds after me, so I was stuck with her for an entire avenue block. I kept hoping she'd notice I was listening so she'd pipe down a little, but every time I caught her eye, she got louder.
Hell, her phone probably wasn't even on.