Sunday, July 13, 2008

Crocheted Bikini (Or, Privacy, Please)

Overheard yesterday at the local dog run:

WOMAN ON CELL PHONE SANS SHAME AND NEED FOR PRIVACY: ...I'm totally so hungover. Yeah. I'm just walking the dog now. Last night was insaaane. Totally. ...I figure later on I'll just go to the bar at the Chelsea Hotel - you know, the place where that Sid Vicious thing happened. I live, like, a block away from there. It's so cool. Anyway, I'll just go there and chat some guy up and have him get me high. What? Oh, yeah, I do that shit all the's cool.

(ten endless minutes of chit-chat later...)

Oh God...I got this amazing crocheted bikini and I was at the Jersey shore and they had one of those photo booths. I took all these pictures. I'll totally scan them and send you them - I look so fucking hot!


I tried and tried to get away from her side of this endless cell phone conversation. I moved three times, which only seemed to amplify her voice. When I finally left the park, I thought I'd be free of the crocheted stoned bikini talk...but, alas, no. She left two seconds after me, so I was stuck with her for an entire avenue block. I kept hoping she'd notice I was listening so she'd pipe down a little, but every time I caught her eye, she got louder.

Hell, her phone probably wasn't even on.


TWISI said...

Isn't it great how fucked up people think everyone should know their business? YIKES!

A couple of weeks ago I literally heard all the icky details of a woman's yeast infection while out shopping.

dit said...

Oh my! She must have liked the attention. lol I am sorry. Just think, someone has to listen to that 24/7. lol

Greg said...

I think she was hitting on you, trying to let you know just how sexy she and her crocheted bikini were. Yeah, that's it.

jason said...

I think she was hoping you'd be the one to "get her high."

And you're probably right, the phone was probably not even on. I think half the time they aren't.