Saturday, October 11, 2008

The Church of M (Or, Membership Renewal)

Yes, I know I'm nearly a month behind again in posting anything...despite a flurry of activity and an ocean of story on my end. I'll start attacking the backlog with the easiest and most typical tale to tell.

Here's a statement that can always provoke a good eyeroll from heterosexuals and discerning too-hip-but-secretly-envious gays:

I saw Madonna in concert this week.

And here's a more detailed statement that can turn that eyeroll into a bonafide "oh-lord-what's-her-problem" mouth-agape-silent-gasp:

I saw Madonna in concert this week...twice.

And with those back-to-back shows, my membership in the clan known as Freespending Urban Homosexuals is now guaranteed for another few years.

I will let the pictures I took do the talking.

On a sad note, just prior to the start of the second show I saw, some poor devotee passed out and was hauled out by four security guards. I was waiting online for a deliciously warm $8 Bud Light when his Italian suited ass was dragged by. There was a mini-souvenir stand right next to the bar line and the woman working the stand expressed the dismay of everyone in line:

"Oh that sad son of a bitch! He passed out even before the show started...and I know these seats ain't cheap. He must have been an alcoholic or something."

The Souvenir Lady then held up on of the items on sale at her stand - a giant shotglass with "MADONNA" printed over and over again in hot pink letters.

"See...check this out. This is supposed to be a shot glass? I bet that kid was doing shots from one of these. When I first saw these, I was like 'Dang...is this a shotglass for alcoholics? This bitch is huge!' I mean, you do a few shots out of this motherfucker and you're going to get dragged out on your ass no matter what."

Not one to pass up an intro like this, I pointed to a ceramic "MADONNA" coffee mug on her stand.

"Maybe he was doing shots from this." I said.

The Souvenir Lady howled with laughter.

"Ooooh! If he was, he must have been a professional alcoholic. You got to wake yourself up with a fucking drink, that's how bad you are."

The Souvenir Lady then yelled out to the rest of the line:

"You all be careful! Don't be drinking shots out of these glasses tonight...and enjoy the show with out falling down drunk!"

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