Pretty Branding (Or, Hey Lady)

Like all red-blooded and constantly-consuming Americans, I'm a sucker for products and things I don't need. Whenever I'm out of New York, I'm amazed by the breadth of newfangled products that don't seem to make it to my local retailers...it's like I'm in another country. I feel so out of touch and confused. I find myself buying things just because they're new to me...or have interesting branding elements.

Shopping for groceries last week, I had a different sort of consumer moment at my local supermarket. In the produce section, I found a brand of grapes (if grapes can be branded) called Pretty Lady (see above). Now, I'd understand if this logo/brand identity were for a line of hairnets or stockings or mascara or nylons or panty shields...but grapes?

Of course I had to buy them just for the logo.

Even now as I gaze into Pretty Lady's eyes, I wonder what the motivations of the marketers responsible for her existence were thinking when they dreamed her up.

MR. MARKETING: We need a new concept for the grape line.

MS. MARKETING: I agree. Who is our target consumer?

MR. MARKETING: I say men. And women. And children. People who like food.

MS. MARKETING: Yes. I agree. Our target audience is people who eat.

MR. MARKETING: Should we be concerned with the bulemic market? What about people who eat and don't digest?

MS. MARKETING: Research shows they are more interested in processed sugar products...not fructose based natural-oriented snacks.

MR. MARKETING: Got it...Let's ideate. Grapes are fresh. Not frozen. Let's think about that.

MS. MARKETING: In the food sector, I see that characters have a great deal of success. Aunt Jemima, Mrs. Butterworth, Pilsbury Doughboy, etc.

MR. MARKETING: Genius. What do you associate with grapes?

MS. MARKETING: Sex. Roman orgies. Peeling grapes for lovers.

MR. MARKETING: So a Caligula theme?

MS. MARKETING: How about Sweet Orgiastic Sweet Bite-Sized Bits?

MR. MARKETING: Hmmm...seems long.

MS. MARKETING: Sexy Time Bits? Sexy Time Pops? Sexy Time Grapes?

MR. MARKETING: I like it...I like it...I like it.

MS. MARKETING: Sexy Lady Grapes?

MR. MARKETING: YES! It says "be sexy with this product" to women...and "you will get sex with this product" to men.

MS. MARKETING: What about the child demo?

MR. MARKETING: Ok...tone it down just a bit.

MS. MARKETING: Pretty Lady?

MR. MARKETING. A subtle feat of perfection.