Binded By the Light (Or, Je Suis le Douche)

So, I all-too-often am blathering here about overhearing some misuse of language or some fucked up turn of phrase that won't escape me.

Today, I am thrilled to report, I am my own jacked-up-language-spewing target.

Today, I am thrilled to report, in a meeting with a client, I said this in regard to a book:

"Well, I do like the way it's binded."

Uh. Huh.

Before I could back my shit up and own my own blinded bindedness, I got the smackdown from my client:

"Where I come from, we say 'bound'."

This also followed a disastrous attempt at relaying my adolescent experiences with orthodontia. In a nutshell: my orthodontist was a sadist. I tried to glean the funny bits of my extended time in headgear and retainers, only to get blank looks in return and a mere "Wow. Gee. That sounds awful." in the spot where I should have been overcome by buckets of laughter.

So, I be to be sticking to the visualtaciousnesses.