Monday, March 15, 2010

Chopped Clams (Or, Of Course It Was Florida)

Last week, my friend Patty told me about the following news story:


Uh...really? It had to be proven?

One of the most disturbing elements of this case is that the woman was not alone in the car...her ex-husband was holding the wheel of the moving vehicle from the passenger seat while she was managing her pubic mound.

You see, she had to git-git-git herself to see her boyfriend in Key West and simply did not have time to pull over and mow her junk. I would reflect on how much Meth she had smoked before getting in the car, but I'm still overwhelmed by her ex-husband sitting in the passenger seat. He's such a sensitive man.

I'm still awestruck as to how you can do such a thing behind the wheel of a college, I did some fairly dumb shit while driving, but I never thought to myself - "Hey - this would be a great time to shave my balls. Now, where did I leave that straight razor...."

A recap of the initial conversation:

ME: Whuuuut. How can you even do that?

PATTY: And, she had someone else holding the wheel from the passenger seat.

ME: Did she have a shaving mug and a can of Barbasol in her glove compartment...or was it a dry shave?

PATTY: I have no idea...

ME: Was one leg hanging out the window?

PATTY: I really need a diagram.

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