Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Driving Miss Deadly (Or, I'll Take Ugly)

Call me an ugly American, but Jesus Christ do SmartCars freak the shit out of me.

Seeing them parked on the street is frightening enough...let alone seeing someone actually driving one in Manhattan traffic. It's like standing in the middle of a six-lane highway and yelling "BRING IT ON!" to oncoming traffic.

Of course, like the unintentional jackass I can be at times, I mentioned this once to some unforgiving-ready-to-argue liberal man/woman/person/non-denominational being who responded with: "Well, Europeans love them."

I tried not to roll my eyes and explain that Europeans also adore bedazzled denim, foreskin, and Dannii Minogue.

My point really - isn't that SmartCars seem unsafe unto themselves...but when slapped onto a road next to a Hummer, an SUV, an MTA bus, and a taxicab, the poor little EuroBitch doesn't stand a chance. Sure, Ace of Base's greatest hits sounds great pumping out of the stereo, but that won't matter when you're sideswiped by a vintage Plymouth.

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