Plop Tarts (Or, The Down Low Highlights of Organic Living)

This can be filed under: Delicious / Ridiculous.

While perusing the "organic foods" aisles of the always-exciting Fairway in Brooklyn, I found myself bewitched, bothered and bewildered by this product:

NEW!
NATURE'S PATH - ORGANIC FROSTED TOASTER PASTRIES
WILDBERRY AÇAI FLAVOR
LOW SODIUM VEGETARIAN

Yes, put less politely, they are Pop Tarts for the organic foods generation.

The thing is, I only paused and pondered their ridiculousness for 10 seconds before I slung the bitches into my basket. Sure, they have absolutely no fiber, are as processed as anything else in the grocery store, and are loaded with sugar...but I felt decidedly fantastic about myself when I pounded through the entire box of six "pastries" in one sitting.

I'm losing weight as I house these...because they are crammed with Açai berry goodness!

The box says these Pop Tarts are "Nurturing People, Nature, and Spirit" - whee!

I'm healthy, goddammit!