Thursday, March 25, 2010

Sandy In Your Pants (Or, Cindy Doth Protest Too Much)

A highlight of the whole Sandra Bullock-Jesse James "Her Blind Side" tabloid sensation of the last week was gossip columnist Cindy Adams' talking-head commentary on the local NBC news last Sunday morning. I missed the first part of Cindy's desperately-in-need-of-new-meds rant, but here's the gist of what I remember of it....

CINDY ADAMS: [agitated, glaring into the camera without blinking] I do feel bad for you Sandy. I do. But I have one thing to say: why would you choose this man for your husband? Just look at that tattooed hunnnnnnnk of a man. Sure, he's the kind of dude you would want to make love to you while riding on the handlebars of his motorcycle riding uptown on Madison Avenue, but he is not the kind of man you want as a life partner Sandy! While you're off making the movies we all love, he's cavorting with the lowest filth...barnyard animals and trash.

After this, the other newspeople were visibly taken aback. Someone said "That was...uh...vivid, Cindy."

CINDY ADAMS: Last week you said I was boring. I wasn't boring today!

I still have the image of Cindy and Jesse James having sex on a motorcycle riding up Madison Avenue. Cindy, thou dost protest too much.

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