Sunday, February 26, 2012

But You Did, Rose (Or, The Talk-Back Artist)

The Oscars are this evening. This little ditty has been sitting in my head for weeks, and it's fitting to drop it tonight.

In keeping up with the onslaught of end-of-the-year-so-called-prestige films, I end up seeing the same previews over and over again for movies I supposedly want (or should want) to see. Normally this is irritating enough...but this year, there was an added annoyance:

The trailer for the 3-D re-release of Titanic.

I know the world just loved to shit itself over this particular movie. For me, the damn ship couldn't sink fast enough.

Anyway, in one screening of said Titty-tanic trailer, I was not alone in the misery brought on by revisiting Leo DiCaprio's acting pre-Scorsese, Kate Winslet's easily flopped out flapjacks, and Billy Zane's glowering hairpiece. Just as the ship was going down and Kate/Rose whelps: "OH JACK! I'LL NEVER LET GO!", someone in the audience wailed back defiantly:

"But you did. YOU DID LET GO."

Thank you, whoever you are.

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